I keep my copy of "At Knit's End" on the window sill next to the tub, because I frequently read it while taking a relaxing bath. I find the Stepahnie to be one of the most honest authors that I have eve encountered (she also really helped launch PatPat's Hats to a whole new world).
Last night I came across the Knitting monstrosity. I have about 4 of those in my house. They are taking up residency on needles that I really need for other projects. They are sitting in piles waiting to be noticed. Some of them I may get back to, others I know will never tun into anything so I really should just give up.
One that I hope will not meet it's ugly fate is my Snow WHite. I love the seweater, I love the pattern, I love the yarn. I wanted it to be my christmas sweate but sadly, that was not to be.
So, we shall see. HEre is hoping.
Sunday, January 28, 2018
Tuesday, January 23, 2018
What I learned from Come from Away
Recently a post was put on Twitter "What has Come From Away" Taught you. This show has taught me so much. Seeing this production was overwhelming.
What have I learned?
1. Be Kinder than you need to be.
2 Where you are is where you are meant to be.
3 Tomorrow may not be promised, so enjoy each moment that you have where you are.
4 Live in the moment.
5 If you think about someone, tell them.
6 It's amazing what some spare bedding can mean to someone.
7 There can be too much toilet paper.
8 Don't forget about the animals.
9 Some places are better than Disneyland
10 it's over 20 ft to jump from the door of a plane.
11 Fish CAN be cooked with cheese
12 someone needs to clean the bathrooms
13 the moose will move when she's good and ready
14 Take lots of pictures
15 Always share your vodka
16 It's okay to steal someones grill
17. let the puppy sleep
18. Do not judge a person by their looks
19. Love more
20. sometimes, just go to the bar.
21. Newfoundland has it's own timezone
22. What Toutens are
23. Somewhere in the middle of nowhere, you'll find your heart.
24. What an ugly stick is
25. Why rush tickets cost $38 (yeah, I should have figured that one out sooner)
26. That Come From Away fans are all wonderful
27. The Come From Away Cast is the kindest Cast on Broadway
28. That even before you visit Newfoundland the people are welcoming (I have been offered places to stay, places for dinner, and personal tours of Gander already)
29. If you knit for the Cast, they will wear your handknits (thank you Astrid)
30. I learned who Beverly Bass is
31. I learned that Jenn Colella is just wonderful, and why a wonderful friend admired her so much.
32. The CFA Cast will help You give back to others (thank you Petrina)
33. That trees will sprout leaves even after they are cut down.
34.
35.
36.
37.
38. I have learned what I want to be when I grow up.
To say I'm a Fan is an understatement. To say that I love the show is the tip of the iceberg. To say that the show moved me brings me to tears.
What have I learned?
1. Be Kinder than you need to be.
2 Where you are is where you are meant to be.
3 Tomorrow may not be promised, so enjoy each moment that you have where you are.
4 Live in the moment.
5 If you think about someone, tell them.
6 It's amazing what some spare bedding can mean to someone.
7 There can be too much toilet paper.
8 Don't forget about the animals.
9 Some places are better than Disneyland
10 it's over 20 ft to jump from the door of a plane.
11 Fish CAN be cooked with cheese
12 someone needs to clean the bathrooms
13 the moose will move when she's good and ready
14 Take lots of pictures
15 Always share your vodka
16 It's okay to steal someones grill
17. let the puppy sleep
18. Do not judge a person by their looks
19. Love more
20. sometimes, just go to the bar.
21. Newfoundland has it's own timezone
22. What Toutens are
23. Somewhere in the middle of nowhere, you'll find your heart.
24. What an ugly stick is
25. Why rush tickets cost $38 (yeah, I should have figured that one out sooner)
26. That Come From Away fans are all wonderful
27. The Come From Away Cast is the kindest Cast on Broadway
28. That even before you visit Newfoundland the people are welcoming (I have been offered places to stay, places for dinner, and personal tours of Gander already)
29. If you knit for the Cast, they will wear your handknits (thank you Astrid)
30. I learned who Beverly Bass is
31. I learned that Jenn Colella is just wonderful, and why a wonderful friend admired her so much.
32. The CFA Cast will help You give back to others (thank you Petrina)
33. That trees will sprout leaves even after they are cut down.
34.
35.
36.
37.
38. I have learned what I want to be when I grow up.
To say I'm a Fan is an understatement. To say that I love the show is the tip of the iceberg. To say that the show moved me brings me to tears.
Monday, January 22, 2018
I've Lost 2 skeins of yarn
Yes, I still talk about knitting on my blog...
So, 2 years ago I visited Salt Lake City. I enjoy being a yarn tourist. What is a Yarn Tourist you say? When I visit a new place, i look for Yarn stores (what, you don'?)/ Visiting LYS throughout the country has let me meet new people, see local yarns, a learn about the local culture.
So, when I visited Salt Lake City i went to Blazing Needles this remains to be one of hte most interesting Yarn stores that I have ever visited. I gushed about it on my blog
So, While I was there I looked for local yarn, something I tend to do. I purchased 2 skeins of Summit. Yes, you read that correctly... It's cashmere.
I liked this yarn instantly because I loved what was written on the tag.
Utah surprises people because its people are surprising. We are journeyers, transplants, saints, and sinners. We gather in unusual places - knitting shops, cycling groups, book clubs, and outdoor summer concerts. We’re blessed with great heights, looking out over high desert valleys and glacier-cut canyons, appreciating the expanse and views.
I had plans for this yarn. I put this yarn in a safe place. I planned for this yarn to remind me of the absolute stunning beauty of Utah.
So, please... take a mmoment and send up a prayer for my missing skeins. It really wants to become something beautiful.
So, 2 years ago I visited Salt Lake City. I enjoy being a yarn tourist. What is a Yarn Tourist you say? When I visit a new place, i look for Yarn stores (what, you don'?)/ Visiting LYS throughout the country has let me meet new people, see local yarns, a learn about the local culture.
So, when I visited Salt Lake City i went to Blazing Needles this remains to be one of hte most interesting Yarn stores that I have ever visited. I gushed about it on my blog
So, While I was there I looked for local yarn, something I tend to do. I purchased 2 skeins of Summit. Yes, you read that correctly... It's cashmere.
I liked this yarn instantly because I loved what was written on the tag.
Utah surprises people because its people are surprising. We are journeyers, transplants, saints, and sinners. We gather in unusual places - knitting shops, cycling groups, book clubs, and outdoor summer concerts. We’re blessed with great heights, looking out over high desert valleys and glacier-cut canyons, appreciating the expanse and views.
I had plans for this yarn. I put this yarn in a safe place. I planned for this yarn to remind me of the absolute stunning beauty of Utah.
So, please... take a mmoment and send up a prayer for my missing skeins. It really wants to become something beautiful.
Wednesday, January 17, 2018
It Doesn't feel like Yesterday
I'm not writing this because I want people to feel sad, I'm writing this because the parts of me that want to forget this day knows that I never will.
I'm not going to lie and tell you that what happened last year feels like yesterday. Saying that would be untrue. This year has been so slow. Each moment has dragged. Maybe it's because I keep thinking "well, when one year happens it gets easier right?"
I don't think it does.
While it feels like forever ago, and much longer than a year, I can replay the moments of January 16th and 17th 2017 like they were yesterday. I can remember these moments like they just happened. I can remember jumping online just to see how things were going at work. I was planning to brag that I was eating key lime pie and getting a pedicure... but let's face it, I'm also a control freak and I had to check in, that's what I do.
Patrick had posted that you hadn't gotten online for your fundraising training. I was frustrated, I was annoyed, and I was concerned. It was a fine line that I was walking at that moment. Concerned that something was wrong, annoyed that you hadn't reached out for help... But I knew that we would reach you and it would be okay.
But this time you didn't answer. This time you didn't jump back online. This time you weren't there.
I went to watch the sunset.
You still hadn't called back.
I called Ll, told her we needed to call the Queens police for a wellness check. She said that wasn't something that we could do.
I found your sister and mom on Facebook. I told them we were concerned.
Then we waited. I had terrible dreams that night. I knew something wasn't right.
mom and I left Key west. Patrick Texted. I told him I could call him back in 5 minutes.
We pulled into the parking lot of a garden center. Patrick told me you were gone...
I called L. I made lists.... who should we call? Who should we tell? How would we tell people? I couldn't let people hear about this over social media.
We got to the car rental place. I spoke with Dottie. someone had already told her.
I got on the shuttle bus and my phone rang. It was a Jacksonville number. I knew it would be your mom. I couldn't make her say it. I told her "I heard.... and I'm so sorry..."
I went through security and people started calling me. I realized a couple of people that I should call, because I would be on a plane soon.
I went to the convenience store at the airport. I looked for tissues, I got a snack and a water.
I got on the plane. I felt it was a good time to start watching Parks and rec (thankful that Amy Poehler could get me through this rough time)
I landed in Boston. Carla Jean had posted the announcement. I called Brian, and he already knew.
I got back to Salem. I got a roast beef sandwich. I snuggled with my cat and I cried.
I cried almost every day for months. I don't remember the first day that I didn't cry, but I remember it happening.
Yes, I found joy this year. I found joy discovering the shows and performers that you always told me to listen to (translation... I discovered Jenn Colella and Christianne Knoll), I have chosen to love musical theatre without apologies.
Yes, I have dealt with loss. I wish I could pinpoint why your loss hurts so much. Yours is a loss that will stick with me. I miss you. I miss you a lot. I wish we had more time. We should have seen Jenn colella together. You should have been here to see Christiane with me. I chalk that up to things that just aren't fair.
I'm not going to lie and tell you that what happened last year feels like yesterday. Saying that would be untrue. This year has been so slow. Each moment has dragged. Maybe it's because I keep thinking "well, when one year happens it gets easier right?"
I don't think it does.
While it feels like forever ago, and much longer than a year, I can replay the moments of January 16th and 17th 2017 like they were yesterday. I can remember these moments like they just happened. I can remember jumping online just to see how things were going at work. I was planning to brag that I was eating key lime pie and getting a pedicure... but let's face it, I'm also a control freak and I had to check in, that's what I do.
Patrick had posted that you hadn't gotten online for your fundraising training. I was frustrated, I was annoyed, and I was concerned. It was a fine line that I was walking at that moment. Concerned that something was wrong, annoyed that you hadn't reached out for help... But I knew that we would reach you and it would be okay.
But this time you didn't answer. This time you didn't jump back online. This time you weren't there.
I went to watch the sunset.
You still hadn't called back.
I called Ll, told her we needed to call the Queens police for a wellness check. She said that wasn't something that we could do.
I found your sister and mom on Facebook. I told them we were concerned.
Then we waited. I had terrible dreams that night. I knew something wasn't right.
mom and I left Key west. Patrick Texted. I told him I could call him back in 5 minutes.
We pulled into the parking lot of a garden center. Patrick told me you were gone...
I called L. I made lists.... who should we call? Who should we tell? How would we tell people? I couldn't let people hear about this over social media.
We got to the car rental place. I spoke with Dottie. someone had already told her.
I got on the shuttle bus and my phone rang. It was a Jacksonville number. I knew it would be your mom. I couldn't make her say it. I told her "I heard.... and I'm so sorry..."
I went through security and people started calling me. I realized a couple of people that I should call, because I would be on a plane soon.
I went to the convenience store at the airport. I looked for tissues, I got a snack and a water.
I got on the plane. I felt it was a good time to start watching Parks and rec (thankful that Amy Poehler could get me through this rough time)
I landed in Boston. Carla Jean had posted the announcement. I called Brian, and he already knew.
I got back to Salem. I got a roast beef sandwich. I snuggled with my cat and I cried.
I cried almost every day for months. I don't remember the first day that I didn't cry, but I remember it happening.
Yes, I found joy this year. I found joy discovering the shows and performers that you always told me to listen to (translation... I discovered Jenn Colella and Christianne Knoll), I have chosen to love musical theatre without apologies.
Yes, I have dealt with loss. I wish I could pinpoint why your loss hurts so much. Yours is a loss that will stick with me. I miss you. I miss you a lot. I wish we had more time. We should have seen Jenn colella together. You should have been here to see Christiane with me. I chalk that up to things that just aren't fair.
Thursday, December 7, 2017
Hope
When I started going back to church I learned what Advent really was. I remember walking into a church on the first Sunday of Advent. I was not in a great place. I had hurt myself a few days before. I was in pain, I was frustrated, I was feeling sorry for myself. The choice to go back to church was almost one of obligation, the choice of the church was convenience... I could walk there because my injury limited my driving.
I realized it was the start of Advent and I thought "Oh great, everyone is going to be excited for Christmas and I'm just not there yet." The first words spoken by the pastor that day were "Waiting is hard." She went on to discuss how while we are in a joyful season, we are waiting for something. WE are waiting for something when days shorter and there is more darkness. We are waiting and that just isn't easy.
It was the first Advent season where I listened to what each week meant, I thought the candles were just for each week. I'm sure I was taught what they meant when I was a child, but I was an adult now. The first week of advent symbolizes hope.
One of these Decembers I am going to sit here and think "Wow, that was an amazing year" and I really can't wait until I get to do that. Instead I sit here one more December and I am thinking "This year was rough". I won't say I want it to be over so that I can start new, because I know better than to think that January 1st will bring amazing things. Really it just brings a new page on the calendar.
This week I have hope that I can look back on this year and find my moments of joy. I will look back on the moments of sadness, as those moments have shaped me this year.
I realized it was the start of Advent and I thought "Oh great, everyone is going to be excited for Christmas and I'm just not there yet." The first words spoken by the pastor that day were "Waiting is hard." She went on to discuss how while we are in a joyful season, we are waiting for something. WE are waiting for something when days shorter and there is more darkness. We are waiting and that just isn't easy.
It was the first Advent season where I listened to what each week meant, I thought the candles were just for each week. I'm sure I was taught what they meant when I was a child, but I was an adult now. The first week of advent symbolizes hope.
One of these Decembers I am going to sit here and think "Wow, that was an amazing year" and I really can't wait until I get to do that. Instead I sit here one more December and I am thinking "This year was rough". I won't say I want it to be over so that I can start new, because I know better than to think that January 1st will bring amazing things. Really it just brings a new page on the calendar.
This week I have hope that I can look back on this year and find my moments of joy. I will look back on the moments of sadness, as those moments have shaped me this year.
Monday, November 27, 2017
Today I ran
Back in April I took time off from running. I ran my third half marathon in 13 months. I took time off because I was afrad I was going to get injured. It didn't take me long to get into a rutt. The rut felt terrible. I couldn't get moving, I couldn't get into a routine. Sure, I ran a 5k in october, I even had a good time, but it wasn't the same.
So, today I ran. I'm hoping I can keep it going.
So, today I ran. I'm hoping I can keep it going.
Sunday, November 26, 2017
Why I'm procrastinating
So, I'm applying to grad school and I'm procrastinating. I keep finding alternative projects. a nap, knitting, cleaning, walking the dog, taking a shower, laundry. You name it, I have started doing THAT instead of finishing up my essay.
Why?
because what happens when I hit that button? What happens when I send this off? It means I have to be chosen. It means I may not. Yes, I'm afraid of not being chosen.
So, that's why I haven't started writing the essay yet, let's see if I can finish it today.
I WILL finish it today.
Why?
because what happens when I hit that button? What happens when I send this off? It means I have to be chosen. It means I may not. Yes, I'm afraid of not being chosen.
So, that's why I haven't started writing the essay yet, let's see if I can finish it today.
I WILL finish it today.
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